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1994-02-03
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88 lines
Coyote
My friend Coyote is back in town. She left in June to go wandering around
the country. Nobody knew when or if she'd be back this time; Coyote is a
wild and free spirit. I always knew she was coming back. All summer it
felt like she was just "away", not "gone".
I'm ecstatic that she's back. I love Coyote very much. She tells me that
she loves me too, and I believe her. I'm not sure she knows how to lie.
Coyote and I have never had sex, although there is a strong attraction
between us. Coyote has many hangups about sex. She worked through
some of them this summer, but still has quite a few left. This doesn't
bother me. When the time is right for both of us, it will happen. Or not.
Coyote is married, though not for long. Her husband is divorcing her. They
both love and desire each other, but he cannot handle the independence and
randomness in her nature. I think he is a little afraid of her. He wants her
to stay with him, but only if she settles down and *stays* with him.
Doesn't he realize that she *is* her wildness and that changing it would
make her no longer be the person he loves so? He is a fool.
Last night I saw Coyote for the first time since her return. I went to her
house after work. She is a massage therapist and gave me a massage, as
she has done many times before. It was so good to feel her touch again.
We cuddled and talked, in and around the massage. She told me of her
summer, wandering across the eastern United States and Canada. She
went to women's gatherings and the Dance New England festival and many
other things. I could tell the trip had changed her. She seemed stronger,
tougher, more willing to accept whatever Life brings.
I took Coyote with me to our yoga class, where Jaybird joined us. Jaybird
also loves and is loved by Coyote. Near the end of the class, our group
pairs off and takes turns massaging each other. I massaged Jaybird first.
When it was time to change, I did not need to be massaged, so Jaybird did
Reiki (energy balancing) on our teacher. I went over and massaged Coyote,
who had put her partner to sleep. It was the first time I ever massaged
Coyote. It was powerful and different. I could feel everything I was doing
to her, as if I was the one receiving the massage, not giving it. This had
never happened to me before.
After yoga, Jaybird and I took Coyote home with us. She had never been to
our house, despite many invitations. We entered the house and Coyote
stepped out of her clothes. Coyote does not like to wear clothes. After
introducing Coyote to the Housecats of the Apocalypse, the three of us
went outside and into our hot tub. It was cool, the first cool night of
autumn. We turned out all the house lights and let the nearly full moon
shine down on us.
The three of us sat in the tub, easing the twinges in our muscles from the
yoga workout. We talked for a while. Jaybird had had a long and tiring
day, so she excused herself and went to bed. Coyote and I talked some
more. We cuddled and petted each other in the warm water. Our talk
dwindled to nothing as we just enjoyed the sight and touch of each other
and the feel of the cool air and warm water. Coyote's beauty took on an
unearthly quality from the moonlight shining on her wet skin. I petted her
for a long time. Coyote loves to touch and be touched by others, but she
does not get petted nearly as much as she needs.
We cuddled and petted and looked at and loved each other for half the
night. You do not have to have sex to make love. We finally started falling
asleep in the hot tub. I invited Coyote to share my bed, but she wanted to
sleep under the stars. Coyote does not like to sleep inside walls and
closed doors. I got her a sleeping bag, kissed her goodnight, and went to
bed. I would not trade those hours with Coyote for anything in the world.
This morning I drove her home on my way to work. Despite having far too
little sleep, I felt wonderful, happy and peaceful. We talked a little on the
drive. We got to her house and I hugged and kissed her farewell. Her scent
lingered on me for the rest of the morning. Not perfume, which she doesn't
use, just Coyote.
At lunch time I went to my car. It smelled strongly of Coyote and made
me feel warm and happy all over again. After eating, I drove to a little
park overlooking the bay. I walked on the beach and watched the ships and
sailboats on the water. There was a cool breeze on my face. How long
will she stay this time, I asked the wind. Silently, the wind answered: she
will stay until she goes.
28 September 1993
Air is my Breath. Fire is my Spirit.
Water is my Blood. Earth is my Body.
The Sky is my Father. The Earth is my Mother.
The Center of Life is Love.